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-English-
I'm done with my break now, so sorry it took so long I got myself busy with some small projects and video games x'D
But I'm back and I'm accepting commissions~


Please always read all of my ToS: sta.sh/01gpago689bp 
And my rules and prices: fav.me/d5gknxs 

Slot 1: menzo FINISHED
Slot 2: Gholbez
Slot 3: :iconnothere3:
Slot 4: :iconvgdcmario: FINISHED
Slot 5: :iconspinosaur123:

-Portugues-
Acabei com minha folga agora, me desculpem pela demora acabei ficando ocupada com uns pequenos projetos e video games x'D
Mas estou de volta e estou aceitando commissions~

Por favor sempre leia todo os meus Termos de Serviço: sta.sh/01gpago689bp 
E minha regras e preços: fav.me/d5gknxs 
-English-
The batch of commissions I had these past two months are finally done, and now I'll be taking a break from commissions for a while 
I'll keep working on my personal drawings, BUT I'll definitely spend much more of my time with other things I should have done much sooner >_>
Not sure how long this break will last, but always keep an eye out on my journals!
[EDIT]I also ended up wasting my time with Horizon: Zero Dawn so this break will take a while longer x'DDDD[/EDIT]

And for the challenges, I've seen these ones a few times around and I really wanted to do these and I need your guys suggestions again c:

Check the images shown here, and pick my OCs to be drawn doing those things!
Pose/Expressions: soupery.tumblr.com/post/154335…
Hugs: soupery.tumblr.com/post/155348…

These are the characters you can suggest:
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla

Eeeeh I hope some of you guys may be interested in giving me suggestions for this :V
[EDIT]Suggestions are CLOSED now! Thanks to everyone who suggested something, and expect these drawings to be done soon <3[/EDIT]

-Portugues-
O lote de commissions q eu tinha nesses dois meses estao finalmente acabados e eu vou tirar uma folga de fazer commissions por um tempo
Eu vou continuar trabalhando em desenhos pessoais, MAS eu definitvamente vou passar mais o meu tempo com outras coisas que eu deveria ter feito mais cedo >_>
Nao sei quando q vai demorar essa folga, mas como sempre fique de olho nos meus journals!
[EDIT]Eu tambem acabei perdendo meu tempo com Horizon: Zero Dawn entao essa folga vai demorar um pouco mais x'DDDD[/EDIT]

E sobre os desafios, eu vi esses aqui por ai e eu queria muito fazer eles e eu preciso da sugestoes de voces de novo c:

Olhem as imagens mostradas aqui, e escolhem os meus OCs para serem desenhados fazendo essas coisas!
Pose/Expressoes: soupery.tumblr.com/post/154335…
Abraços: soupery.tumblr.com/post/155348…

Aqui esta os personagens q voce pode sugerir:
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla

Eeeeh eu espero que alguns de voces estejam interessados em me dar sugestoes para isso :V
[EDIT]Sugestoes estao FECHADAS agora! Obrigada a todos que sugeriram algo, e espere esses desenhos serem terminados logo <3[/EDIT]
-English-
The Comic that I was working on (that is extremily silly but ended up being a lot of work) is pratically finished!
I still need to edit most of the speech bubbles, but other than that I don't have to put more work into it, so now I finally have time for commissions~

Please always read all of my rules and prices!
fav.me/d5gknxs

Slot 1: Menzo  FINISHED
Slot 2: :iconxsonic: FINISHED
Slot 3: :iconraymondff: FINISHED
Slot 4: CorvusHoax FINISHED
Slot 5: :iconraptors0verlord: FINISHED

-Portugues-
A Comic que eu estava fazendo (que é extremamente boba mas acabou me dando um baita trabalho) esta praticamente terminada!
Eu ainda precido editar maior parte as falas, mas tirando isso nao tenho q botar mais trabalho nele, entao agora finalmente tenho tempo para commissions~

Por favor sempre olhe todas as minhas regras e preços!
fav.me/d5gknxs
-English-
Uuuuh I mostly just wanted to update my journal since my last one was done in November x'D
Hope you guys had a good Christmas/Holiday and New Year :3

Mine were Okay, not much happened since there weren't many family members for Christmas (but I guess that's good since it's less drama yay) and on the New Year I stayed at home with my Grandma and we just watched the fireworks from the TV Big Fool Emoji-1 (Thumbs Up) [V2] 

My plans for 2017 is...eeeehhh I don't know.
Ok ok, I have some ideas and stuff I want to do but nothing certain yet...the usual is just get better at my drawings and put much more of my ideas out
And definitely try to work in another 'serious' Comic like the Our Wounds one.
But the biggest thing is try to get my life on track and figure out what to do with myself :U

Heh...that's all I got to say for now, so hope you guys also have a great day!

-Portugues-
Uuuuh eu so queri mais fazer um update no meu journal ja q o meu ultimo foi feito em Novembro x'D
Espero que voces tiveram um otimo Natal/Feriado e Ano Novo :3

Os meus foram Okay, nada demais aconteceu pq nao tinha tantos membros da minha familia pro Natal (mas acho q isso é bom ja q é menos drama yay) e no Ano Novo so fiquei em casa com minha Avó e so assistimos os fogos pela TV Big Fool Emoji-1 (Thumbs Up) [V2] 

Meus planos para 2017 é...eeeehhh eu nao sei.
Ok ok, eu tenho algumas ideias e coisas que eu quero fazer mas nada certo ainda...o de sempre é so melhorar nos meus desenhos e colocar mais minhas ideias pra fora
E definitivamente tentar trabalhar em outra Comic 'séria' que nem o Our Wounds.
Mas a maior coisa é tentar colocar minha vida nos eixos e tentar ver o q fazer comigo mesma :U

E falando sobre Ours Wounds, queria saber com vcs se seria interessante ou nao traduzir toda a minha Comic pro portugues?
Eu sei q ja postei todas as paginas ja faz um bom tempo mas queria saber se isso é uma boa ideia ou nao :V Ja q tem umas pessoas q me deram essa sugestao. 

Heh...so isso que tenho pra dizer agora, entao eu espero que voces tambem tenham um otimo dia!
-English-
After the Redraws I did for my 10th year anniversary on dA and the last silly comic I posted, I just got into some sort of art block
I don't feel like drawing anything, and when I do feel like it I just don't have the right idea and I kinda give up on it :I
(This is why I also don't feel confortable opening up for commissions, since I hate making people wait for my drawings)

So I decided to look around for more of those art challenges so you guys can help me out with some suggestions and stuff!
Here is the challenge:
memesforartists.tumblr.com/pos…

Pick any of the numbers (1-20) and any of my OCs: 
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla

And I'll draw them out...pretty much just that :v 
I'll be accepting suggestions 'till this Sunday (20th of November)
Thanks to everyone who suggested something <3 

-Portugues-
Depois dos Redraws que eu fiz pro meu Aniversario de 10 anos no dA e a ultima comic boba que eu postei, eu meio que fiquei numa art block
Eu nao tenho vontade de desenhar nada, e quando tenho vontado eu nao tenho ideia certa e eu meio que desisto dela :I
(Isso tambem é o porque eu nao sinto confortavel em abrir commissions, ja q eu odeio fazer as pessoas esperarem pelos meus desenhos)

Entao eu decidi dar uma olhada por mais desafios de desenhos para que voces pudessem me ajudar com algumas sugestoes e talz!
Aqui esta o desafio:
memesforartists.tumblr.com/pos…

Pegue qualquer numero (1-20) e qualquer um dos meus OCs: 
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla

E eu vou desenhar eles...é basicamente so isso :v 
Eu vou estar aceitando sugestoes ate esse Domingo (20 de Novembro)
Obrigada a todos que sugeriram algo <3
-English-
Yup that's right! Today is officially the day I joined DeviantArt 10 years ago!
...wow can't believe it's been this long, I was 13 years old at that time.

So maybe some of you guy were wondering (or probably not) why I did these redraws:
My adopt or Adopt me - Remake by Carolzilla Dragon Axel - Remake by Carolzilla Happy Rex - Redraw by Carolzilla
And it was to celebrate this day!
I may have sorta panicked when I had commissions last month and barely time to work on these drawings (and had a very shitty art block), but in the end I managed to finish them before today \O/
When I realised this year was gonna be the 10th one I decided to pick very old drawings of mine (from the very beginning of my dA pages) and redo them to see how much I've improved...though I wish I was muuuuch better, at least there is some changes and evolutions on how I do my drawings and that cheers me up a bit!

It's also funny (and cringy) looking back and remembering how I used to act back on those days...I honestly thought I was an amazing artist and that I was 'hot shit' and that everything I did was 'WOW AMAZING' but then I started to grow up and realize that my drawings weren't all of that :'D
And I also had a change in attitude and not think of myself as better than others, the down side is that I became the extreme opposite >>''
I hope I can change that about myself someday <_>

Anyway, I don't really know what much else to say here, so I want to thank everyone who have been following/watching my works for years
Without some of you guys, I probably wouldn't have posted my work and shared my ideas that much
But I also wanna thank anyone who decided to watch me, even recently!
It just makes me happy seeing people enjoying my work with very silly ideas and characters <3

Hope everyone have a great day! And hopefully I'll keep making drawings for more years to come~
(Though, my day kinda got ruined when I realised today is also the election day on the US LMAO)

-Portugues-
Yup é isso mesmo! Hoje é oficialmente o dia que eu entrei no DeviantArt 10 anos atras!
...wow nem posso acreditar que ja faz tanto tempo, eu tinha 13 anos naquela epoca.

Entao talvez alguns de voces deveram estar se perguntado (ou provavelmente nao) porque eu fiz esses redraws:
My adopt or Adopt me - Remake by Carolzilla Dragon Axel - Remake by Carolzilla Happy Rex - Redraw by Carolzilla
E era pra celebrar esse dia!
Eu mais ou menos meio que entrei em panico quando tive commissions mês passado e mal tive tempo de trabalhar nesses desenhos (e eu tbm tinha um art block horrivel), mas no final conseguir terminar eles antes de hoje \O/
Quando eu notei que esse era pra ser o 10º eu decidi pegar desenhar bem antigos meus (bem do começo das paginas do meu dA) e refazer eles e ver como eu melhorei...mesmo eu eu queria estar muuuuito mais melhor, pelo menos teve algumas mudanças e evoluçoes em como eu desenho entao isso me alegra um pouco!

É tambem engraçado (e vergonhoso) olhar pra tras e lembrar como eu agia naquela epoca...eu honestamente me achava uma artista incrivel e que eu era 'hot shit' e tudo que eu fazia era 'WOW INCRIVEL' mas dai comecei a crescer e perceber que meus desenhos nao eram isso tudo :'D
E tambem mudei a minha atitude e nao pensar que sou melgor que os outros, mas o lado ruim disso é que eu virei o extreme oposto >>''
Eu espero que eu possa mudar isso sobre mim algum dia <_>

De qualquer maneira, eu realmente nao sei mais o que dizer aqui, entao quero agradecer a todos que estao me seguindo/watching meus trabalhos por anos
Sem alguns de voces, eu provavelmente nao teria postado meu trabalho ou compartilhado minhas ideias tanto assim
Mas tambem quero agradecer a qualquer um que decidiu me dar watch, ate mesmo recentemente!
Isso me faz muito feliz de ver pessoas gostando do meu trabalho com varias ideias bobas e personagens <3

Espero que voces tenham um otimo dia! E espero continuar fazendo desenho por varios anos a virem~
(Mas, meu dia meio que foi estragado quando notei que hoje tambem é dia de eleiçao no EUA LMAO)
-English-
Now that my birthday is already gone and I finished all the kiss challenge suggestions, it's time to open for commissions again! :v

Please always read all of my rules and prices!
fav.me/d5gknxs 

Slot 1: Menzo Finished
Slot 2: lorvianne Finished
Slot 3: :iconraymondff: Finished
Slot 4: :iconrobynthedragon: Finished
Slot 5: CorvusHoax Finished

-Portugues-
Agora que meu aniversario ja passou e eu terminei todas as sugestoes do kiss challenge, é hora de abrir pra commissions de novo! :v

Por favor sempre olhe todas as minhas regras e preços!
fav.me/d5gknxs
-English-
For those who are waiting for me to open commissions, I'm letting you guys know that i'm taking a 'break' for a while 
Don't worry it's not for too long, it's just 'till around my birthday, and since it's coming around I didn't feel like being busy with non-personal drawings

But at the same time I wanted to do this art challenge for a while and I need your guys suggestions!

tokidoki-hokeypokey.tumblr.com…
Check the information on the link and then just send me a number and characters you want me to draw together
The characters you can ask me to draw can be my own:
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla
OR any of my OTPs xD
carolzilla.deviantart.com/favo…

Eeeeh I hope some of you guys may be interested in giving me suggestions for this 
[EDIT] Suggestions are closed, thanks everyone who suggested kisses! Lel [/EDIT]

-Portugues-
Para aqueles que estao me esperando pra abrir commissions, so estou deixando voces saberem que vou tirar uma 'folga' por um tempo
Nao se preocupem que nao vai ser muito tempo, é so ate o meu aniversario, ja que esta chegando e eu nao tava a fim de ficar ocupada com desenhos nao-pessoais

Mas ao mesmo tempo eu queria fazer esse desafio de desenho por um tempo e preciso da sugestao de voces!


But at the same time I wanted to do this art challenge for a while and I need your guys suggestions!

tokidoki-hokeypokey.tumblr.com…
Olhe as informaçoes nesse link e dai so me mande um numero e os personagens que voce quer que eu desenhe juntos
Os personagens que voce pode pedir podem ser os meus:
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla
OU qualquer um dos meus OTPs xD
carolzilla.deviantart.com/favo…

Eeeeh eu espero que alguns de voces possam se interessar em me dar sugestoes pra isso
[EDIT] Sugestoes estao fechadas, obrigada a todos que sugeriram beijos! Lel  [/EDIT]
-English-
Since I won't be travelling anywhere, there's an extra slot once again~

Please always read all of my rules and prices!
fav.me/d5gknxs 

Slot 1: :iconxsonic: Finished
Slot 2: :iconpheonixfoxblood24: Finished
Slot 3: DarthTyrian on fA Finished
Slot 4: TheDinoGamer95 on fA Finished
Slot 5: :iconraymondff: Finished
Slot 6: :iconcari-rez-lobo: Finished
-Portugues-
Ja que eu nao vou viajar, tem um extra slot de novo~

Por favor sempre olhe todas as minhas regras e preços!
fav.me/d5gknxs
-English-
Hey guys this journal is gonna be slightly different than usual, I just want to give a shout out to a good friend of mine who is doing commissions:
Emergency commissionsOkay guys, this is not a joke, this is an emergency, i'm flat broke and i need money to buy food for my leopard geckos and myself, ill be doing sketches for 10 USD flat color will be 15 USD if you want lineart its gonna be 15 USD and with color is 20 USD also +5 USD per characters if you want multiple characters
Sketch: 10 USD
Colored Sketch: 15 USD
Lineart: 15 USD
Colored Lineart: 20 USD
+ 5 USD per character
There's no slot limit
Stuffs I can do
Normal Stuffs
Pregnancy, Male Pregnancy, Stuffing (aka big belly kink art)
Humans (mostly TF2, i can do knights too) Skeletons, Reptiles (Dragons, Dinosaurs, etc), Robots, Monsters, Creatures and other stuffs, just ask me
Payment via paypal only

I would really appreciate if one of you guys could help her out or tell other people about this c:
Her stuff has good prices and she can draw also dinosaurs, anthros and etc.

And for those waiting for me to open my commissions, expect a new journal this weekend~
Since my travelling plans didn't work out I'll be staying at home so I can work on my drawings as usual.

-Portugues-
Hey gente esse journal vai ser um pouco diferente do normal, eu so quero falar sobre uma amiga minha que esta fazendo commissions:
Emergency commissionsOkay guys, this is not a joke, this is an emergency, i'm flat broke and i need money to buy food for my leopard geckos and myself, ill be doing sketches for 10 USD flat color will be 15 USD if you want lineart its gonna be 15 USD and with color is 20 USD also +5 USD per characters if you want multiple characters
Sketch: 10 USD
Colored Sketch: 15 USD
Lineart: 15 USD
Colored Lineart: 20 USD
+ 5 USD per character
There's no slot limit
Stuffs I can do
Normal Stuffs
Pregnancy, Male Pregnancy, Stuffing (aka big belly kink art)
Humans (mostly TF2, i can do knights too) Skeletons, Reptiles (Dragons, Dinosaurs, etc), Robots, Monsters, Creatures and other stuffs, just ask me
Payment via paypal only

Eu apreciaria que um de voces pudessem tambem ajudar ela ou falar pra outras pessoas sobre isso c:
Os desenhos dela tem preços bons e ela tambem pode desenhar dinossauros, anthros e etc.

E para aqueles que estao esperando para eu abrir commissions, esperem por um novo journal nesse final de semana~
Ja que os meus planos de viagem nao deram certo eu vou ficar em casa entao posso trabalhar nos desenhos como de sempre.
-English-
*UPDATE* Things didnt work out, so I wont be travelling. */UPDATE*

I wasn't sure what to write here but I wanted to let you guys know some stuff have been happening with my life, nothing bad or terrible, just complicated things.

So the main thing is that something might or not happen this month, and if it does, I won't be home for about 3 weeks.
Don't worry I'll just be travelling but I don't wanna get into too many details about it right now, because like I said, I'm not sure if it might work out or not.
Because of this situation I won't be working/opening any commission for a while since I really really REALLY hate the pressure to do certain things and having to work on drawings for others while I gotta sort this out is not gonna help me :V

I will keep making my personal drawings as much as I can, but doing drawings for others is something I really don't wanna do right now and I also hate making people wait for the drawings they paid for.

That's all I have for now! I might make a new journal if this travelling thing works out or not.

-Portugues-
*UPDATE* As coisas nao deram certo, então nao vou viajar.*/UPDATE*

Eu nao tinha certeza do q escrever aqui mas eu queria q vcs soubessem de umas coisas q estao acontecendo na minha vida, nada ruim ou terrivel, so coisas complicadas.

Entao o principal é q algo pode ou nao acontecer esse mês, e se acontecer, eu nao vou estar em casa por umas 3 semanas.
Nao se preocupem q eu so vou estar viajando mas eu nao quero entrar em muitos detalhes agora, pq como eu disse, eu nao tenho certeza se isso vai dar certo ou nao.
Por causa dessa situaçao eu nao vou estar trabalhando/abrindo commissions por um tempo ja q eu realmente realmente REALMENTE odeio a pressao de fazer certas coisas e ter q trabalhar pros outros enquanto estou tentando arrumar essa situaçao entao isso nao vai me ajudar :V

Eu vou continuar fazendo desenhos pessoais o maximo q eu puder, mas fazer desenhos pros outros é algo q nao quero fazer agora e eu tambem odeio fazer a pessoa esperar pelos desenhos q elas pagaram.

É so isso q tenho por enquanto! Talvez eu faça um journal novo se essa viagem de certo ou nao.
-English-
*EDIT* Thanks everyone who posted their questions! I'll get all of them and put together so I can sketch out the answers later but it will take a while for me to do the drawings 'cause I'm working on a super secret project (that is not a super secret) and THAT will be a lot of work XD a little hint: it's an animation, a silly one but still an animation. 
*/EDIT*

Apparently it's been almost 1 year since the last Ask My Ocs, wow.
And because I've been kinda busy with some RL stuff I decided to do this again~
(They are easy to do lel)

For those who haven't seen it before, here is all the previous Q&A so the answers will be drawn like this style: carolzilla.deviantart.com/gall…

I'll accept the questions 'till June 10th, after that I won't be accepting any more questions.

You can make questions to any of the characters that are shown here: Charahub
I reccommend reading their profiles with their info or check the previous "Ask my character" comics before making a question that might have been already 'answered'.
The questions can be funny or serious, but don't go too crazy.

HAVE FUN MAKING QUESTIONS AGAIN I GUESS.

-Portugues-
*EDIT* Obrigada a todos q postaram suas perguntas! Eu vou pegar todas elas e colocarem juntas para q eu possa rascunhar as respostas mas isso vai demorar um pouco para eu fazer os desenhos pq estou trabalhando num projeto super secreto (o qual nao é super secreto) e ISSO vai me dar muito trabalho XD uma pequena pista: é uma animaçao, uma boba mas é mesmo assim uma animaçao. */EDIT*

Aparentemente vai fazer quase 1 ano desde o ultimo Ask My Ocs, wow.
E porque eu estou meio ocupada com coisas da vida real eu decidi fazer isso de novo~
(Sao faceis de fazer lel)

Para aqueles que nao tenham visto antes, aqui esta todas as Perguntas e respostas anteriores entao as respostas serao desenhadas nesse estilo: carolzilla.deviantart.com/gall…

Eu vou aceitar as perguntas ate dia 10 de Junho, depois disso nao vou aceitar mais nenhuma pergunta.


Voce pode fazer qualquer pergunta para um dos meus personagens que aparecem aqui: Charahub
Eu recomendo ler o perfil com a info deles ou olhar a comic anterior de "Ask my character" antes de fazer uma pergunta que pode ter sido ja 'respondida'.
As perguntas podem ser engraçadas ou serias, mas nao vao muito longe com isso.

SE DIVIRTAM EM FAZER AS PERGUNTAS DE NOVO EU ACHO
-English-
After a while of doing commissions I started to use the 'Invoice' method to receive Payment, which is much safer to use.
But! Apparently recently people have been talking about that this method is on default for shipping items.
Here it explains much better: horrificfursuits.tumblr.com/po…
Long story short, even if the Invoices are paid and shown as 'completed' they actually aren't. You still need to put the tracking info on the item you shipped, which in my case is none since I only do digital drawings, so you need to go to those options and put the correct info so the Invoice will be actually completed.

So if any of you that commissioned me before and all of the sudden receive some email from me on Paypal, it's just me putting the correct info on the Invoices and nothing more.

-Portugues-
Depois de um tempo de fazer commissions comecei a usar o metodo de 'Invoice' pra receber pagamento, o q é mais seguro de usar.
Mas! Aparentemente pessoas recentemente começaram a falar que esse metodo em padrao é pra mandar items (fisicos).
Aqui explica muito melhor mas esta em ingles: horrificfursuits.tumblr.com/po…
Long story short, mesmo q as Invoices foram pagas e mostradas como 'completadas' elas nao estao. Voce ainda tem q botar a info de acompanhamento do item que voce tem q mandar, o qual no meu caso é nenhum ja q so faço desenhos digitais, entao voce precisa ir nessas opçoes e colocar a info correta para q a Invoice seja realmente completada.

Entao se qualquer um de voces que fizeram commission comigo antes e receber do nada um email do Paypal, é so eu colocando a info correta nos Invoices e nada mais.
-English-
Lately things have been kinda crazy in my life and I've been extremily busy helping out around the house.
But I wanted to do some sketch commissions! Not really inspired to do full drawings.
Keep in mind I may take a while to start working on them, since I'm not using the computer as much as before.


So let's go over the rules and how these 'sketch' commissions will work.

Drawing examples:
  Mini Me Palette Sketch - 98 by Carolzilla Animatronic Spino - Sketch Commission by Carolzilla Kathleen Palette Sketch - 10 by Carolzilla Ghost Riders - Sketch Commission by Carolzilla

Sketch commissions will only be open once in a while, so when I open my normal commissions you won't have the choice in getting the 'sketch' commissions.

Each sketch drawing/character will cost 7$ and each drawing/character you pay will take a slot on the list. 
(Example: You want me to do 3 characters, doesn't matter if they are in the same picture or in 3 individual separate pictures you will take 3 slots of my list)
The same info/rules and TOS applies for the sketch commissions.

Slot 1: :iconxsonic: Finished
Slot 2: :iconxsonic: Finished
Slot 3: :iconxsonic: Finished
Slot 4: :iconspinosaur123: Finished
Slot 5: :iconspinosaur123: Finished
Slot 6: :iconspinosaur123: Finished
Slot 7: :iconspinosaur123: Finished
Slot 8: :iconspinosaur123: Finished
Slot 9: :iconspinosaur123: Finished
Slot 10: TheDinoGamer95 on fA Finished
Slot 11: :iconrespelia: Finished

KIRIBAN WINNER: :iconeeveearceus: Finished

-Portugues-


Ultimamente as coisas estao meio lokas na minha vida e estou extremamente ocupada ajudando pela casa.
Mas eu queria fazer uns sketch commissions! Nao to muio inspirada pra fazer desenhos completos.
So mantenham em mente q posso demorar pra começar a trabalhar neles, ja q eu nao estou usando tanto o computador como antes.


Vamos para as regras e como essas commissions de 'rascunhos' vão funcionar.

Exemplos de desenhos:
  Mini Me Palette Sketch - 98 by Carolzilla Animatronic Spino - Sketch Commission by Carolzilla Kathleen Palette Sketch - 10 by Carolzilla Ghost Riders - Sketch Commission by Carolzilla

Commissions de rascunho só vão ser abertos de vez em quando, então quando eu abro as minhas commissions normais você não vai ter a escolha de pegar as commissions 'rascunho'.

Cada desenho/personagem de rascunho vai custar 7$ e cada desenho/personagem que voce pagar vai pegar uma vaga da minha lista. 
(Exemplo: Voce quer que eu faça 3 personagens, não importa se eles estão na mesma imagem ou em 3 imagens individuais separadas voce vai tirar 3 vagas da minha lista)
A mesma info/regras e Termos de Serviço se aplica nas commissions de rascunho.
I was tagged by :iconmarcotonio-desu: and :iconslaycrol:
They asked for different characters lel so here they are!

1.) Post the rules.
2.) Post 8 facts about your character.
3.) Tag 8 other characters if you want.
4.) Post their names along with their creators avatars


Mini Me

Mini Me Palette Sketch - 98 by Carolzilla Best ghosties by Carolzilla

1 - Regular Mini Me and Ghost Mini Me are the same character and same personality, except the ghost version has some ~ghostly powers~
2 - This is probably the most known and repeated fact about her, but she was born from a silly joke I did many years ago


I shall call her... by Carolzilla
3 - Though she is famous for devouring cookies, her diet doesn't consist of only that ok? I care about her health! So GOATS AND COWS BETTER WATCH YO BACK!
4 - Mini Me is generally a silly character that is super nice towards her owner and friends, but obviously can act aggressive towards people who upset/hurt her owner.
5 - She can be a lazy butt sometimes and tries to sleep on anything and/or anyone.
6 - Likes to run after cars, she doesn't actually attack the cars but drivers aren't very happy about this behavior either way.
7 - She always knows when her owner is upset, happy etc., and she is always affected by her owner's emotions. 
8 - Loves to get petted and getting head scratches, since she can't do that herself. Huehue

Kathleen

Kathleen and Marcus Ref by Carolzilla Mysnugglywooblyboo~ by Carolzilla

1 - From a first impression most people seem to think she is brute, agressive and serious because of her appearence and job, when she is in fact a complete goof! Loves to joke around, makes puns and use sarcasm to annoy people, very social and is super into cartoons/shows/games and can act a total nerd about the things she likes.
But that doesn't mean she can't break your face tho.
2 - Adding to the previous fact, her personality may be 'fun' but when she is at work she completely goes serious and tries her best to do everything right and gain respect, and always follows orders. Only let some jokes out when is around some of her teammates, mostly to make fun of someone who is being an idiot.
3 - She really likes jackets and is always wearing one when outside, the only exception is when she is at home or working out at the gym.
Because of that, most people who know her doesn't really notice how RIPPED SHE IS, LOOK AT THEM PECS AND BICEPS BRO.
4 - Though she loves having her strong appearence, comments about how she is 'weird' and 'unattractive' compared to her sister still hurts, but after many years she learned how to deal and accept it while making the other person shut up.
5 - When she was much younger she had a crush on a boy from her class, who also became her friend, but later she found out he had a major crush on her sister.
At the time that was like the worst thing ever, after that she decided "LOVE IS STUPID" and focus more on what she would do with her life/career. That also explains why she isn't a very romantic person.
6 - One of the things that still bothers her the most is how her parents just won't accept how she is like and what she is doing, as much she tries to tell herself she is over it she always feels down when her parents are extremily proud about her sister of doing what she loves, modelling, while in her case they feel they did 'something wrong' for her becoming a Freedom Fighter and not another model or something similar to it.
7 - Previously it was said she nerd about the things she likes, she is such a nerd that she loves buying products related to the cartoons/shows/games she likes and already has a collection of different plushies, statues and action figures.
8 - She doesn't really mind she has a scar, but the issue she has with it is that it reminds her of a terrible event for her and it's something she still kinda blames herself for it. Sometimes she sees it as a reminder of her mistake.



Tagged:

I don't know who to tag, so anyone can do this with any character they want :V
I'm so lame.
-English-

Looks like we already have a winner for the Challenge!
Congratz to :iconunbridledwild: !!

Now we also have another winner!
Congratz to :iconeeveearceus: for getting the Kiriban!!


I was thinking if I should do a 'challenge' or a kiriban but then I thought..."WHY NOT BOTH?!?"
Basically the challenge is gonna be similar to this:
Do you want a free drawing? WINNER ANNOUNCED!-English-
If yes, then you gotta pass my challenge!
Soo I was planning on doing some sort of kiriban or raffle but decided to make a small challenge instead.
Now the challenge will be about my watermark, in this pic you can see the first time I created and ever used an watermark

After this watermark was created it went through 3 changes, so the challenge is that you need to go to my gallery and find each picture that shows the first time the new watermark was added.
The first change that I did was a completely new design and added my profile and RL name.
The second change that I did was just to put my new profile name (since before it used to be kougro and now it is Carolzilla) but everything else was the same.
The third change (and current one) was that I slightly changed the design of the Rex head and changed the font for the text, so it's a very subtle change but still a chan

And if you don't know what a Kiriban is, basically you take a screenshot when on my profile shows a certain number of Pageviews that I requested!

BUT! Before I explain the challenge and tell what my kiriban is, you guys gotta know that:

1 - If a person wins the challenge they CANNOT participate in the kiriban! (And vice versa) So basically the same person CANNOT win both the challenge and the kiriban.
2 - The person who wants to do the challenge or catch my kiriban must be my watcher (I'll be checking! >:C) so random people who aren't my watchers CAN'T join.
3 - And also those that CAN'T join are people who watched me AFTER this journal was posted (sorry guys! But I want this to be more of a reward for people who have already been watching me).
4 - If you make a mistake and forgot to add something on your comment, DO NOT USE THE EDIT BUTTON! Put a reply to your original comment.

Now that the general rules are out of the way, here is about the Kiriban:

The first person to send a comment/note with a screenshot to my profile showing the number of 212,212 pageviews
Will win a 'Sketch' drawing with up to 2 characters.
Examples:  Animatronic Spino - Sketch Commission by Carolzilla Hang in there Maggot by Carolzilla Hey me - Challenge Prize by Carolzilla
(Keep in mind the stuff I'll draw also follow the same rules of what I do and don't on my Commission Info and Prices )


Now onto the more complicated one, about the Challenge:

Some of you may or may not know about these two characters right here:
Kathleen and Marcus Ref by Carolzilla

If you read the description, you would know that I had the idea of this characters YEARS ago but only on March 30th of 2015 I finally posted their final designs, personalities and story. And in the description I also said I did some random sketches and ideas of them before this drawing was made.

Why I'm telling this? Because the challenge is that you need to find ALL the sketches in my gallery that shows these two before their final design! 
(Any drawings/sketches made before March 30th of 2015).

To make things a bit easier, you just need to search around on my Sketches. (Not Scraps!)
Then make a comment on this journal with all the links for the drawings/sketches/sketchdumps you find that contains Kat and/or Marcus.
Keep in mind that in some sketches (especially older ones) they look VEEERY different, they had different designs and personalities. 
So they won't be the same as the ones right now. They can have different anatomy, faces, hairstyles and clothing.
"So how the HECK you want us to find them if they were different Carol?!?" 
Simple, if you encounter a character in a sketch dump with long elf ears, it's them. Lmao

And to make things even EASIER here are the sketches with Elf characters that AREN'T them!
(So these won't count, obviously)
Jak sketches
School Sketches
Art Class Sketches
Sketch Storm
JakSketchesThingy
Randomredrawtumblrstuff

The first one to post all the correct links with my elf characters in them
Will win a Full Body drawing with lineart, colors and shading! With up to 2 characters as well!
Examples:  Kaiju Rex - Commission by Carolzilla Killer Cinnamon Roll by Carolzilla
(Keep in mind the stuff I'll draw also follow the same rules of what I do and don't on my Commission Info and Prices )

So good luck to everyone on this!

-Português-

Parece que ja temos uma ganhadora pro meu Desafio!
Parabéns para :iconunbridledwild: !!

Agora tambem temos outros vencedor!
Parabéns para :iconeeveearceus: por ter pego o Kiriban!!


Eu estava pensando se eu deveria fazer um 'desafio' ou um kiriban mas dai eu pensei..."PQ NÃO OS DOIS?!?"
Basicamente o desafio vai ser parecido com esse aqui:
Do you want a free drawing? WINNER ANNOUNCED!-English-
If yes, then you gotta pass my challenge!
Soo I was planning on doing some sort of kiriban or raffle but decided to make a small challenge instead.
Now the challenge will be about my watermark, in this pic you can see the first time I created and ever used an watermark

After this watermark was created it went through 3 changes, so the challenge is that you need to go to my gallery and find each picture that shows the first time the new watermark was added.
The first change that I did was a completely new design and added my profile and RL name.
The second change that I did was just to put my new profile name (since before it used to be kougro and now it is Carolzilla) but everything else was the same.
The third change (and current one) was that I slightly changed the design of the Rex head and changed the font for the text, so it's a very subtle change but still a chan

E se você não sabe o q um Kiriban é, basicamente você tira um screenshot quando a minha página mostrar um certo numero de Pageviews que eu pedi!

MAS! Antes de eu explicar o desafio e falar qual é a minha kiriban, vocês devem saber que:

1 - Se uma pessoa ganhar o desafio ela NÃO pode participar do kiriban! (E vice versa) Então basicamente a mesma pessoa NÃO pode ganhar ambos o desafio e o kiriban.
2 - A pessoa que quer fazer o desafio ou pegar o meu kiriban deve ser o meu watcher (Eu vou estar checando! >:C) então pessoas aleatórias que não são os meus watchers NÃO podem participar.
3 - E também aqueles que NÃO podem participar são pessoas que me derem o watch DEPOIS de eu ter postado esse journal (desculpa gente! Mas eu quero isso mais como uma recompensa para as pessoas que já deram watch em mim).
4 - Se você fazer algum erro ou esqueceu de adicionar algo no seu comentário, NÃO USE O BOTÃO DE EDITAR! Coloque um reply no seu comentário original.

Agora que as regras gerais já estão fora do caminho, aqui esta sobre o Kiriban:

A primeira pessoa que me mandar um comentário/note com uma screenshot da minha página mostrando o número de 212,212 pageviews
Ira ganhar um desenho 'Sketch' com até 2 personagens.
Exemplos:  Animatronic Spino - Sketch Commission by Carolzilla Hang in there Maggot by Carolzilla Hey me - Challenge Prize by Carolzilla
(Lembre que as coisas que eu vou desenhar seguem as mesmas regras do que eu faço e não faço no meu Commission Info and Prices )


Agora para o mais complicado, sobre o Desafio:

Alguns de vocês devem ou não saber desses dois personagens aqui:
Kathleen and Marcus Ref by Carolzilla

Se você leu a descrição, você saberia que eu tive a idéia desses personagens ANOS atrás mas só em 30 de Março de 2015 eu finalmente postei o desenho final do design, personalidades e a estória deles. E na descrição eu também disse que eu fiz uns rascunhos aleatórios e idéias deles antes de ter feito esse desenho.

Porque eu estou falando isso? Porque o desafio é que voce precisa achar TODOS os rascunhos na minha galeria que mostra esses dois antes de ter feito o design final! 
(Qualquer desenhos/rascunhos feitos antes do dia 30 de Março de 2015).

Para fazer as coisas um pouco mais fáceis, você só precisa procurar nos meus Sketches. (Não no Scraps!)
Então faça um comentário nesse journal com todos os links para os desenhos/rascunhos/sketchdumps que você achar que contêm a Kat e/ou Marcus.
Tenha em mente que alguns rascunhos (especialmente os mais antigos) eles parecem BEEEEM differentes, eles tinham designs e personalidades diferentes. 
Então eles não vão ser os mesmo que são agora. Eles podem ter anatomia diferente, rostos, estilos de cabelos e roupas.
"Então como DIABOS você quer que a gente ache eles se eles eram diferentes Carol?!?" 
Simples, se você encontrar um personagem num sketch dump com orelhas compridas de elfo, é eles. Lmao

E pra fazer as coisas ainda mais FÁCIL aqui esta os rascunhos com personagens Elfos que NÃO são eles!
(Então esses aqui não contam, obviamente)
Jak sketches
School Sketches
Art Class Sketches
Sketch Storm
JakSketchesThingy
Randomredrawtumblrstuff

O primeiro a postar todos os links corretos com os meus personagens elfos neles
Ira ganhar um Desenho de corpo completo com lineart, cores e sombreado! Com até 2 personagens também!
Exemplos:  Kaiju Rex - Commission by Carolzilla Killer Cinnamon Roll by Carolzilla
(Lembre que as coisas que eu vou desenhar seguem as mesmas regras do que eu faço e não faço no meu Commission Info and Prices )


Então boa sorte a todos nisso aqui!
(Sim tem versao portugues la pra baixo, eu tenho muito tempo livre, ne?)

-English-
This journal will be about how things are with me at the moment, but it will mostly be vent.
It's been a looong time since I did a journal like this.

So overall my life hasn't changed much, but around July things may start to change! It's still not 100% set but I may finally get into an art college.
I'll probably write more about it later when things work out!

Now about me...it's complicated. I've been debating for months if I should write about this or not...but
For those who do not know, in the beginning of 2012 I had serious issues with my mother and had to leave with my brother from home to go live with my grandma.
Here is the old journals I did that explain most of the stuff that happened, I'm too lazy to write it all again (but excuse me for my awful grammar skills, reading these again were a pain >>)
For those who care...-English-
I finally decided to write a resume of whats the drama in my life, so beware of long text
The problem of my drama comes from one person...my mom
It all started 3 or 4 years ago when she had some sort of "outbreak" one night, and started saying that my father did some things that she had no proof, or never seen him doing, so my father couldn't take it anymore, and both of them went to some doctos and a psychologist, and thats when we found out she was bipolar, it was all ok when she started taking the medicine for it, but then she stopped saying that she didn't need it she says she only needed to pray and make exercises.
That did not end well, she got worse over the years, and got even crazier if I might say, she ended up getting herself into "tarot" cards (not sure the word in english), and she ended up going to some women that work with these kind of cards, and then only recently we found out my mom ended getting into "magic" and "ubanda" classes, and that one of those women
Happy Easter and vent and update-English-
I hope you guys all had a Happy Easter, but right now I'll do a little vent here.
My Easter is alright but the issue is what happened last night, my mom came to visit us yesterday and was going to spend the night here but she started to act weird and threatening me at night saying I needed to go sleep in 30 minutes so I asked why but she only answered because she wanted to and and if I didn't she would break everything so there was no way I could refuse her since I know she can pretty much do anything she feels like doing and so I went to bed and found out my mom wanted me and my bro to sleep in the same room with her and so she tried to lock the door with a key and didn't worked and so she started to push a small wardrobe in front of the door that is when my and my brother ran towards her and tried to pull the wardrobe back and started to yell at my mom what was she doing and why, my grandma was hearing us and so wanted to know what was going on and tried to open the door, a


After that, it's just been a drama that won't stop with my mother. She can't visit us anymore at my grandma's home, which is good so we can worry less about her doing anything against my grandma!
So my mother lives in another city (my hometown) which is a bit far away from the one we currently live in, and even after all these issues we still see her (we either take the bus to see her, or she takes the bus to come see us, but we just hang around the bus station).
But everytime we do that, it's just horrible for me (and my brother, but I'm the one who mostly goes against what she says). Some days she is more 'tame' but other days she seems a bit more 'off' and talks loudly, also laughs super loudly while talking about innapropriate stuff >>The worse of course is how she makes extremily mean comments and accusations towards my father and my family in general.
Luckily we only see her once in a while every month, but even so it still drives me crazy...

This whole situation with my mother just makes me more angry and upset about everything. Almost everyone tells me to not hate my mother and just hate her actions but...it feels very hard to do such thing. I know I REALLY shouldn't blame her, afterall she has a mental sickness which unfortunately we cannot treat it and she won't treat it herself since in her mind she got nothing, and I'm not sure how it works in another countries but we cannot force against her will to have a treatment. 
So we are stuck like this.
What hurts me is that I know she is sick, but I don't see her as my mother anymore. At least not the one I used to feel confortable and safe around...and the one I used to love.
Nowadays she seems just like a stranger...a crazy stranger. With only a few leftovers of what she used to be.
She doesn't feel like she is my mother anymore, you know? I just want to stay away and not have much contact with her as possible.

However, what I hate the most is that we can't do ANYTHING about it, in 2012 we tried to get her treated and hospitalized but the doctors that diagnosed her said she had nothing...NOTHING?? It was only an 'outbreak' no biggie. And according to my aunts (my mother's sisters) other incidents happened that she acted crazy in public and was taken at the hospital, even with what my aunts told the doctors about her the next day my mother was released as if nothing happened and that she was 100% fine, she just had a small 'outbreak' no need to worry about it.
And THAT pisses me off the most. I'm not sure how the hell she does it, but apparently she is a good actress around doctors and act as normal as she can, but around us its just madness.

The worst is that my mother usually calls us to ask for money and deposit it in her bank account, and we always end up giving in to help her out.
But it started to get out of hand since she would always says she spent it all to pay things she owes, that she would not tell me exactly to what/whom, I would say no but my grandma or someone else in the family would made me do it because they felt bad for her, and also didn't want her keep calling and bothering us about it.
Oh yeah, my mother also doesn't have a job and keeps saying she has been trying to get one, but that is also a mess that if I were to explain would make this journal even longer.
And before I forget, did I tell you that she also loooooooooooooves to play the victim and try to emotionally blackmail me and my brother as much as she can?
She always says how much she loves us and knows that we will help her out since no one else will...but then gets very mad/angry when we don't have much money to offer
SHE said to MY FACE when me and my brother offered the little money we had left for her (we had to pay for our bus rides to go visit her AND also had to pay for our food and hers!) that we were CHEAP...YEAH I CAN SEE THE LOVE MOM.

But the most recent drama is that she asked money for a crazy idea she had about getting a job outside of Brazil, at first she said she would go to a place that was close to Paraguay buuuuut she somehow ended up in Bolivia.
And guess what? She WOULD NOT STOP sending messages for me and my brother (and later we found out she also sent to some other FB friends) practically BEGGING for money. But we couldn't help because she was out of the country and we can't deposit money from the national bank we have in my town.
So she screwed herself, but at this point I just got fed up with everything and replied very angrily to her, she tried her best to make herself the victim and how I was suuuper mean to her but I didn't care! I just pointed out how stupid she was for doing something so reckless like this.
The funny thing is that she also begged me to ask my dad to give her money and buy plane tickets for her to go to...Los Angeles!
YEAH MOM, WHAT A GREAT IDEA! Go there with NO money of your own and get a job there! BRILLIANT I SAY!
In the end a relative helped out and bought a ticket for her to come to Brazil so she wouldn't be freaking out on facebook that she would get arrested in the Bolivian airport.

After this ordeal happened, it just did not help my feelings towards my mother, now I'm much more strict to her and won't give her any more money so she can end up travelling again! 
Oh she also called me again this week to thank me for the help and wanted to ask for more money, so she could do a 'thing' that she knew that would work out!
Lovely ain't it? I already said we would not help her out anymore if anything like this ever happened again, and that we also had no more money to help her out and when I asked she refused to tell me what this 'thing' was.
And then she said that if we didn't give her the money to help out...she would need to do something 'bad' (she told me what it is...but I don't feel like sharing this part) but I told her right away thats her problem, she put herself in that mess and we cannot help her anymore, we have no more money to give her because remember the plane ticket my relative bought to bring her back? That cost over 2,000 reais. SO YEAH the stunt she pulled cost a looooooooooooot.

Now I just feel angry and upset about everything, since 2012 my mood hasn't really improved...
I mean there is many wonderful things that happened, lots of things that I enjoy and love and helped my mood greatly!
But sometimes when I'm alone in my thoughts...they just are mostly depressing...this whole situation didn't help much and I just feel more sad than I should.
I don't know how to explain, I go to a psycologist which helped me a lot too (lovely lady, she is great to talk to and even though doesn't understand much of the stuff I do she loves to hear about my drawings and stuff that happens in the internet).
Still, even though she also helped me out, I still feel mostly down and unmotivated...To the point that I don't feel like drawing sometimes.
I just feel like watching a bunch of stupid and funny youtube videos to calm myself, but drawing sometimes becomes VERY hard for me to do...
The last drawings I did I had to practically FORCE myself to start them and try to complete them.
Because everytime I deal with a drama like that, I just don't feel like drawing, but I want to do it but at the same time I don't?

The only time I was SUPER motivated to do a drawing was the 'Our Wounds' comic, but after it was completed I lost my motivation again...
It's easier for me to draw something a person tells me to do, rather than doing my own ideas.
To be honest, it's something I always had trouble with but it just have gotten worse.
And it's not always, but I have that small thought in my head of "why should I draw? why should I post these? Nobody cares, not even I care."
With this whole situation I also have become more...emotional I guess? I've been getting more upset very easily, and by the stupidest things too which makes me angry as well.
I deal this better on the internet, but oh boy in real life it's another story.
Sometimes I had to go to the bathroom and cry, because someone would say something about me (or something I did) and EVEN if it wasn't meant to actually hurt me, it did. I usually feel very stupid and angry at myself for getting upset to the point of crying over silly things like that, but the worse is not just the silly comment it's how I respond to it in my head and my own mind makes me feel worse about it. I also hide to everyone when they say something that upsets me, I don't feel like telling them what they did actually hurt me, since like I said, its about really dumb shit.

...Sorry for making the end there depressing, but theres just a lot in my mind right now that I've been holding inside for so long.
But like I said, don't need to worry much since I don't feel like this 24/7, it's mostly when drama happens in my life and I start to go into deep thoughts.
Hopefully! When everything works out for me to go to an art college and stay away from my mother, things will get better!
I NEED TO STAY DETERMINED
Filled with DETERMINATION 

HOLY SHIT, I was not expecting for this journal to get this huge >___>'''
But it feels better sharing this, thanks for reading it I guess <'3

-Portugues-

Esse journal vai ser sobre como as coisas estao comigo nesse momento, mas vai ser mais desabafo.
Ja faz um booooom tempo q eu fiz um journal assim.

Entao em geral minha vida nao mudou muito, mas la por Julho as coisas podem começar a mudar! Nao é 100% definido mas eu talvez finalmente possa ir numa faculdade de arte/desenho.
Eu provavelmente vou escrever mais sobre isso depois q as coisas derem certo!

Agora sobre mim...é complicado. Eu estava pensando por meses se eu devia escrever sobre isso ou nao...mas
Para aqueles q nao sabem, no inicio de 2012 e tive um problema serio com a minha mae e tive q sair de casa com o meu irmao pra ir morar com minha avó.
Aqui esta uns journals antigos q explicam maioria das coisas q aconteceu, eu tenyho muita preguiça de escrever tudo de novo (mas me desculpe pela minha gramatica horrivel, lendo esses de novo foi horrivel >> e sim tem versao portugues tbm)
For those who care...-English-
I finally decided to write a resume of whats the drama in my life, so beware of long text
The problem of my drama comes from one person...my mom
It all started 3 or 4 years ago when she had some sort of "outbreak" one night, and started saying that my father did some things that she had no proof, or never seen him doing, so my father couldn't take it anymore, and both of them went to some doctos and a psychologist, and thats when we found out she was bipolar, it was all ok when she started taking the medicine for it, but then she stopped saying that she didn't need it she says she only needed to pray and make exercises.
That did not end well, she got worse over the years, and got even crazier if I might say, she ended up getting herself into "tarot" cards (not sure the word in english), and she ended up going to some women that work with these kind of cards, and then only recently we found out my mom ended getting into "magic" and "ubanda" classes, and that one of those women
Happy Easter and vent and update-English-
I hope you guys all had a Happy Easter, but right now I'll do a little vent here.
My Easter is alright but the issue is what happened last night, my mom came to visit us yesterday and was going to spend the night here but she started to act weird and threatening me at night saying I needed to go sleep in 30 minutes so I asked why but she only answered because she wanted to and and if I didn't she would break everything so there was no way I could refuse her since I know she can pretty much do anything she feels like doing and so I went to bed and found out my mom wanted me and my bro to sleep in the same room with her and so she tried to lock the door with a key and didn't worked and so she started to push a small wardrobe in front of the door that is when my and my brother ran towards her and tried to pull the wardrobe back and started to yell at my mom what was she doing and why, my grandma was hearing us and so wanted to know what was going on and tried to open the door, a


Depois disso, so é um drama q nao para com a minha mae. Ela nao pode mais visitar a gente aqui na casa da minha avó, o qual é bom ja q a gente pode se preocupar menos dela fazer algo contra minha avó!
Entao minha mae more emoutra cidade (onde eu morava) o qual é um pouco longe de onde a gente mora, e mesmo depois de todos esses problemas a gente ainda ve ela (ou a gente pega um onibus pra ir ver ela, ou ela pega um onibus pra vir ver a gente, mas a gente so fica na estaçao).
Mas toda vez q a gente faz isso, é so horrivel pra mim (e meu irmao, mas eu sou a q sempre vai contra o q ela fala). Alguns dias ela esta mais 'calma' mas em outros ela parece um pouco mais 'fora' e fala alto, tambem ri bem alto enquanto fala de coisas inapropriadas >> O pior claro é como ela faz comentarios extremamente ruins e acusaçoes sobre o meu pai e a minha familia em geral.
Por sorte a gente so ve ela de vez em quando cada mês, mas mesmo assim me deixa louca...

Essa situaçao tosa com minha mae so me deixa com mais raiva e triste sobre tudo. Quase todo mundo diz pra nao odiar minha mae e so nao gostar das açoes dela mas... sinto q é dificil fazer algo assim. Eu sei que eu REALMENTE nao deveria culpar ela, pq ela tem uma doença mental o qual infelizmente a gente nao pode tratar e ela nao quer se tratar pq na cabeça dela ela tem nada, e nao sei como q funciona em outros paises mas a gente nao pode forçar contra a vontade dela fazer o tratamento.
Entao estamos presos assim.
O que me doi mais é q eu sei q ela esta doente, mas eu nao vejo ela mais como a minha mae. Pelo menos nao a que eu me sentia confortavel e segura do lado...e a qual eu amava.
Hoje em dia ela parece uma estranha pra mim...uma estranha louca. So com algumas coisas q sobraram do q ela era.
Ela nao parece ser mais a minha mae, sabe? Eu so queri ficar longe dela e nao ter muito contato o maximo possivel.

No entanto, o que eu mais odeio sobre isso é q nao podemos fazer NADA sobre isso, em 2012 a gente tentou fazer ela ser tratada e internada mas os medicos q diagnosticaram ela disseram q ela tem nada...NADA?? So foi um 'surto' nada demais. E de acordo com minhas tias (as irmãs da minha mae) outro incidentes acontecerem q ela agiu louca em publica e foi levada pro hospital, mesmo com o q minhas tias falaram pros medicos sobre ela no dia seguinte ela foi liberada como q nada tivesse acontecido e q ela estava 100% ok, ela so teve um pequeno 'surto' entao nao precisa se preocupar com isso.
E ISSO q me irrita mais. Eu nao tenho muita certeza como ela consegue fazer, mas aparentemente ela é uma boa atriz na frente dos medicos e age o mais normal q ela pode, mas na frente da gente é so loucura.

O pior é q minha mae geralmente liga pra gente pra pedir dinheiro e depositar na conta de banco dela, e a gente sempre acaba cedendo e ajudando ela.
Mas isso começou a sair fora de controle ja q ela sempre dizia q gastava tudo pra pagar coisas q ela devia, o qual ela nao me fala exatamente pra que/quem, eu iria dizer nao mas minha avó e outra pessoa da familia me fazia ajudar ja q eles se sentiam com penas dela, mas tambem nao queriam q ela ficasse ligando e incomodando a gente sobre isso.
Ah pe, minha mae tbm nao tem um emprego e sempre diz q ta tentando pegar um, mas isso tbm é uma confusao q se eu fosse explicar o journal ficaria ainda mais comprido.
E antes q eu esqueça, por acaso falei q ela tamvem aaaaamaaaaa se fazer de vitima e tentar chantagear emocionalmente eu e meu irmao o maximo q ela pode?
Ela sempre diz como ela ama a gente e sabe q a gente vai ajudar ela ja q os outros nao vao...mas dai fica brava/chateada quando a gente nao tem muito dinheiro pra oferecer
ELA me falou na MINHA CARA quando eu e meu irmao oferecemos o pouco de dinheiro q tinha sobrado pra ela (a gente teve q pagar as nossas passagens de onivos E tivemos q tambem pagar a nossa comida e a dela!) que a gente era MAO DE VACA...YEAH EU POSSO VER O AMOR MAE.

Mas o drama mais recente é q ela pediu dinheiro pra uma ideia louca q ela teve de conseguir um emprego fora do Brasil, de primeira ela disse q ela iria num lugar perto do Paraguay maaaaas de algum jeito ela acabou indo pra Bolivia.
E adivinhe? Ela NAO PARAVA de mandar mensagens pra mim e pro meu irmao (e depois descobrimos q ela tambem mandou pra alguns outros amigos no FB) praticamente IMPLORANDO por dinheiro. Mas a gente nao podia ajudar ela pq ela estava fora do pais e nao podemos depositar no banco nacional q temos aqui na cidade. 
Entao ela se ferrou, mas nesse ponto ja fiquei de saco cheio com tudo e respondi com raiva pra ela, ela tentou o melhor dela pra se fazer de vitima e q eu estava sendo muuuuito ruim com ela mas eu nao me importei! Eu so mostrei como ela foi idiota de fazer algo assim sem pensar antes.
O mais engraçado é q ela tambem implorou pra eu pedir pro meu pai dar dinheiro pra ela e comprar uma passagem de aviao pra ir para...Los Angeles!
YEAH MAE,Q OTIMA IDEIA! Vai pra la SEM dinheiro seu e pega um emprego la! BRILHANTE EU DIGO!
No final um parente ajudou e comprou a passagem pra ela voltar no Brasil entao ela nao estaria se esperneando no facebook q ela seria presa num aeroporto Boliviano.

Depois q essa loucura aconteceu, isso nao ajudou com os meus sentimentos voltados pra minha mae, agora sou mais dura com ela e nao vou mais dar dinheiro pra q ela acabe viajando de novo 
Oh ela tambem ligou essa semana pra me agradecer por ajudar ela e pediu pro mais dinheiro, pra e ela podesse fazer uma 'coisa' q ela sabe q vai dar certo!
Adoravel nao é? Eu ja disse q eu nao iria mais ajudar ela e q qualquer coisa assim de novo acontecesse a gente nao iria mais ajudar, e a gente nao tinha mais dinheiro pra poder ajudar e quando eu perguntei ela recusou de me dizer o q essa 'coisa' era.
E dai ela disse q se eu nao desse esse dinheiro pra ajudar...ela teria q fazer algo 'ruim' (ela me disse o q era...mas nao tenho vontade de compartilhar essa parte) mas eu ja disse pra ela q era problema dela, q ela q se colocou nessa situaçao e nao vamos ajudar ela mais, nao temos mais dinheiro pra dar pra ela pq lembram da passagem de aviao q um parente comprou pra trazer ela de volta? Aquilo custou mais de 2,000 reais. ENTAO YEAH a façanha q ela fez custou bastaaaaaaaaaaante.

Agora estou com raiva e triste sobre isso tudo, desde 2012 meu humor nao melhorou...
Quero dizer teve varias coisas incriveis q aconteceram, varias coisas q eu gosto e amo e q ajudaram com meu humor bastante!
Mas as vezes quando estou sozinha com meus pensamentos...eles so sao mais depressivos...essa situaçao toda nao ajudou muito e eu so sinto mais triste do q eu deveria.
Eu nao sei como explicar, eu vou pra uma psicologa q me ajuda bastante (uma mulher incrivel, ela é otima de se conversar e mesmo q nao entenda muito ela adora ouvir sobre meus desenhos e as coisas q acontece na internet).
Mesmo assim, mesmo q ela me ajudou bastante, eu ainda sinto muito pra baixa e desmotivada...Ao ponto q eu nao tenho vontade de desenhar as vezes.
Eu so sinto vontade de assistir um monte de videos no youtube q sao idiotas e engraçado, mas desenhar as vezes fica MUITO dificil de eu fazer...
Os ultimos desenhos eu praticamente tive q me FORÇAR a começar e tentar completar eles.
Porque toda vez q tenhoq aguentar um drama assim, eu nao tenho vontade desenhar, mas eu quero fazer isso mas ao mesmo tempo nao?

A unica vez q eu estava SUPER motivada a desenhar foi o comic 'Our Wounds', mas depois q completei perdi a minha motivaçao de novo...
É mais dacil de eu desenhar algo q uma pessoa me pra fazer, em vez de fazer as minhas ideias.
Pra ser honesta, é algo q eu sempre tive problema mas acabou piorando.
E nao é sempre, mas sempre tenho aquele pequeno pensamento na minha cabeça de "pq eu devo desenhar? pq eu deveria postar eles? Ninguem se importa, nem eu me importo."
Com toda essa situaçao e acabei ficando mais...emocional eu acho? Eu ando me chateando mais facilmente, e pelas coisas mais idiotas o q me faz ficar brava tambem.
Eu aguento isso melhor an internet, mas oh nossa na vida real é outra estoria.
As vezes eu tenhoq ir no banheiro e chorar, pq alguem disse algo sobre mim (ou algo q eu fiz) e MESMO q nao era algo pra me machucar, me machucava. Eu geralmente me sinto idiota e brava comigo mesma por ficar cheateada ao ponto de chorar por coisas bobas desse tipo, mas o pior nao é o comentario bobo é como eu respondo mentalmente pra isso e a minha propria mente faz me sentir pior sobre isso. Eu tambem escondo isso de todo mundo quando eles falam algo q me deixa triste, ja q eu nao tenho vontade de fizer q eles me machucaram, ja q como eu disse, é por coisas bobas.

...Desculpa por ter feito o final deprimente, mas é muita coisa indo pela minha mente agora q eu estou segurando dentro por muito tempo.
Mas como eu disse, nao precisam de preocupar muito pq eu nao me sinto assim 24/7, é so mais quando drama acontece na minha vida e começa a ir em pensamentos profundos.
Mas! Espero q quando tudo der certo pra mim e eu va pra uma faculdade de arte/desenho e fique longe da minha mae, as coisas vao melhorar!
EU PRECISO FICAR DETERMINADA
Filled with DETERMINATION 

HOLY SHIT, Eu nao estava esperando pra esse journal ficar gigante >___>'''
Mas me sinto melhor em compartilhar isso, obrigada por ler eu acho <'3
-English-
[EDIT]
Not accepting any more suggestions~ thanks for everyone who suggested the emojis :3
[/EDIT]


Since I'm done with my commissions for now, I decided to take on this small little challenge!
That I wanted to do a few months ago...lol

But here it is:
36.media.tumblr.com/73e28973fd…

And I need help from you guys to suggest which expressions to do
So you choose a letter (from A to E) and a number (1 to 9) and then one of my characters:
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla

This is gonna be a fun challenge and exercise for me 8D
(I'll probably accept suggestions for a week or so)

-Portugues-
[EDIT]
Nao estou aceitando mais sugestoes~ obrigada a todos q sugeriram emojis :3
[/EDIT]

Ja q eu terminei minhas commissions por enquanto, eu decidi fazer um pequeno desafio!
Q eu queria fazer a uns meses atras...lol

Mas aqui esta:
36.media.tumblr.com/73e28973fd…

E eu preciso de ajuda de voces pra sugerir q expressoes fazer
Entao escolhe uma letra (de A a E) e um numero (1 a 9) e dai um dos meus personagens:
charahub.com/user/Carolzilla

Isso vai ser um desafio e um exercício interessante pra mim 8D
(Eu provavelmente foi aceitar sugestoes so por uma semana mais ou menos)
-English-
The reason that there is 6 slots this time because an old slot from my previous commission got cancelled, so now I'm adding it here xD

Please always read all of my rules and prices!
fav.me/d5gknxs 

Slot 1: Onom on fA  Finished
Slot 2: :iconkaitoucat: Finished
Slot 3: SkadeRaptor on fA Finished
Slot 4: :iconhotjazz: Finished
Slot 5: CorvusHoax on fA Finished
Slot 6: :iconfsl-rukario: Finished

-Portugues-
A razao q tem 6 slots dessa vez é pq o slot antigo de uma commission previa foi cancelada, entao agora estou adicionando aqui xD

Por favor sempre olhe todas as minhas regras e preços!
fav.me/d5gknxs
-English-
I guess it's time to put a new journal huh? I guess by now most of you already know about Wallpart lol

Some weeks ago I finished my driving classes and should get soon a return call from them to see if I'll get my driver's license or not.
And I'm also doing some other stuff in RL.

But I made this journal to say that I'm sorry I haven't been making that many drawings! These past couple of weeks I've been working non-stop to finish the last pages of my comic, which most of you don't really care lol, but it's an important personal project for me so I'm trying my best to finish them on time!
Luckily I just need to do the lineart (which is always the hardest part for me to do) of the last page of the comic, and then I'll go into coloring on all of them.
It will probably take another week or so to be done with everything and get them ready to be uploaded every friday.

Meanwhile I decided you guys could help me out with a little challenge!
A friend of mine showed me this picture that was going around on tumblr: 
41.media.tumblr.com/a7dc8b2f9f…

Basically you pick one of my characters and poses you want me to draw my character in!
(Here's all the characters if you need help to pick: charahub.com/user/Carolzilla )
I actually wanted to do this challenge before but because of my comic I couldn't
But! While I'm working on the comic you guys can leave your suggestions so when I'm finally done with the comic, I can do the poses~

That's all I have to say for now, later~

-Portugues-
Eu acho q esta na hora de colocar um journal novo huh? Eu acho q maioria de voces ja sabem sobre o Wallpart lol

Algumas semanas atras eu terminei as minhas aulas de direçao e logo devo receber uma ligaçao deles pra ve se consegui minha carteira ou nao.
E eu tambem estou fazendo algumas outras coisas na RL.

Mas eu fiz esse journal pra me desculpar por nao ter feito muitos desenhos! Essas ultimas semanas eu estou trabalhando sem parar pra conseguir terminar as ultimas paginas da minha comic, o qual maioria de voces nao se importa lol, mas é um projeto importante pra mim entao estou tentando meu melhor pra terminar eles a tempo!
Por sorte eu so preciso fazer a lineart (o qual é a parte mais dificil pra eu fazer) da ultima pagina da comic, e entao eu irei colorir todas elas.
Isso vai provavelmente me tirar uma semana a mais pra terminar tudo e ter eles prontos para serem colocados cada sexta.

Enquanto isso eu decidi que voces podem me ajudar com um pequeno desafio!
Uma amiga minha me mostrou essa imagem q estava circulando pelo tumblr:
41.media.tumblr.com/a7dc8b2f9f…

Basicamente voce escolhe um dos meus personagens e uma pose que voce quer q eu desenhe meu personagem fazendo!
(aqui esta todos os personagens se vc precisa ajuda pra escolher: charahub.com/user/Carolzilla )
Eu na verdade queria fazer esse desafio antes mas por causa da comic nao podia
Mas! Enquanto eu trabalho na comic voces podem deixar suas sugestoes entao quando eu estiver pronta com a comic, eu poso fazer as poses~

É so isso q tenho pra dizer agora, ate mais~